**** Inhumanimal ****

Official website of Devin Hansen

Stains Part 2


Only in a Midwestern tavern will you hear two men debate the sexual prowess of Gene Simmons versus Brett Michaels. And sadly, this is probably the most interesting conversation I’ll hear for weeks.
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There are few things as enjoyable as showing a child how to knock down dominoes or fill a jar with fireflies.
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Did Kodak fight the digital revolution? Did they lobby to stop progress? No, they adapted and capitalized. We must do the same with energy.

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Contrary to popular belief, moonshine does not make you go blind. But it does make you go squirrely.
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Walking through casinos makes me feel like I’m trapped in a pinball machine.
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If I wanted to “go out” in style, I think I’d stand on an incoming runway at midnight.
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There are few things sexier than watching a young woman in jean shorts tightly roll up her sleeping bag.

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For a country so passionate about sports, you think we’d be more fit.
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Its wise not to masturbate after eating a bag of Cheetos.
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At what age do we stop having potential?
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You’ve had too much to drink when a CAPTCHA starts to read normal.
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Actually, I wish our leaders DID act more like children…
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Do trombone players give vigorous head?
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Why are cruelties so much easier to accept as we age?
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Sometimes I feel like a duck trying to land on a tree-limb, and the sparrows won’t stop laughing.
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Vasectomy stories are not well-received as party conversation…

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I really want a magic carpet.
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Kids today will never know the feeling of being “left out” because they missed a phone call.
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I’m a casual fan of the TV show “The Office.” I get a few laughs, but can only endure so many coy smiles and smirks. And I know we’re supposed to accept that its “reality show,” but by now the stars would have been totally fucked by stardom. The fame, fortune and attention would have changed them long ago.


Categorized as: Journal

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