In 1996 at the age of 21 I decided I wanted to play ice hockey. I’d never even tied on a pair of ice-skates, but I had some pretty stellar reflexes. So I went to the ice-rink every day that summer and taught myself to skate. I even went to the tennis courts and had a
My third attempt at a chicken coop. This time I used panels from an old garage door, which had nice windows to observe the chickens (if you do this, be sure to put chicken wire on the inside so they don’t break the glass). I built it based on the lessons I learned from my
Pick live worms off the sidewalk. ~ Listen to old people’s stories. ~ Make faces at random children. ~ Question everything. ~ Always know when to leave.
“There’s something weird to me, daddy,” said my eight year old daughter. “What’s that, baby?” “The more I listen to directions in art. The worse it is.” I smiled. “When I don’t listen to directions, it’s good.” I gave her a hug. Another starving artist in the making.
“America is drowning in wickedness and immorality,” said Evangelist Billy Sunday in the 1900’s. It’s a message we still hear today, and not just from the preachers and proselytizers. Many people say that our tastes in sex and violence are more perverted and fierce. While it’s true we have our fair share of crime, I
The place is a mere 1200 square feet, but somehow we all fit: three kids, two adults, and a dog with a serious eating problem. We’re all packed into this modest house built around 1945, with two bedrooms, one bath, and a finished basement. The previous owners of the home raised a family of five
Only in a Midwestern tavern will you hear two men debate the sexual prowess of Gene Simmons versus Brett Michaels. And sadly, this is probably the most interesting conversation I’ll hear for weeks. ~ There are few things as enjoyable as showing a child how to knock down dominoes or fill a jar with fireflies.
What better way to justify perversion than with the promise of salvation? ~ Nostalgia can be a drug too. ~ One of the best things about monogamy, is that you use condoms for birth-control instead of pest-control. ~ Sometimes I wonder if aliens planted the idea of god in our mind, and they’re tallying our
When I was about fifteen years old, I read Larry Bird’s biography. It said that he started “hitting his shots” when he was fourteen. So I practiced alone in a neighbors driveway every night for the next year. But I never did master the jumpshot. It made me realize though, that we read biographies of people we
I went to Loki’s grave one night. Drunk in the dark woods. I swayed back and forth over his homemade headstone, wanting to pound my fist into the dirt. To punch deep into the black soil and feel his fur for one last time. To have his smell on my hands. To bend his ears